Chocolate? No, she wouldn't like that. Flowers? Those would die before he could give them to her. Dr. Thomas began to tap his pen on his medical pad as he thought. A stuffed animal? Stuffed creatures of any kind often made her fly into a PETA-like rage. A puppy? No, she would smother-
"Dr. Thomas." Dr. Thomas looked up to see his nurse standing in the doorway. "A Mr. Goodhall is here for his appointment."
He nodded for her to let him in as he stood and straightened out his lab coat. Dr. Thomas did his best to keep a straight face when he recognized the man who walked into his office. It was the homely janitor that had the nerve to grab Amelia's rear at the surgeon's conference! Mr. Goodhall even wore the same jumpsuit he had seen him in as Amelia held him back from strangling the life out of him. Even now his hands itched to wrap around his trachea and pull it out.
"Thanks for seeing me so soon Doc." Mr. Goodhall interrupted his thoughts as he took a seat on the examination table. He had his hand in a splint and was cradling it to his chest.
"No problem, you're my last patient today. Now what seems to be the problem?" Dr. Thomas gave his patient his best fake smile. It would seem that fate was on his side today.
"It's my hand. It hurts something fierce." His patient held up his hand for him inspect it.
Dr. Thomas delicately took off the splint to see the tail tell swelling and bruising of a broken bone. An easy fix but Dr. Thomas fixed his features into a very solemn and worried expression.
"Oh no." Dr. Thomas frowned, his tone dark.
"What? What is it." Mr. Goodhall immediately became anxious. What could possibly be wrong with his hand?
"This isn't good." Dr. Thomas turned the hand over to inspect the other side. "Not good at all."
"What?! What?!" His patient's voice was almost shrill and Dr. Thomas had to fight to keep a grin from creeping onto his face. This was too perfect.
"I have only seen a few cases, but this is by far the most severe case of culus et lascivus." Dr. Thomas stood up and opened the office door. "Nurse! Get me an operating room, we will need to amputate this man's hand!"
"Amputate?!" Mr. Goodhall squeaked in fear.
"Yes, immediately in order to keep it from spreading." As he spoke, his nurse rolled in gurney. She handed his patient a hospital gown and walked out of the room with Dr. Thomas following close behind. "Change into the gown and get on the bed, we will put you under and take you back shortly."
-A few Hours Later-
"Almost....done!" Dr. Thomas said triumphantly as he set the hand on the small medical table beside him.
"I will finish up here, sir." His nurse stepped forward into Dr. Thomas' space as he stepped back. He trusted that she could easily finish cleaning up, so Dr. Thomas placed the hand into the waiting metal box, not caring that blood oozed out the top from under the lid.
"Thank you nurse." Dr. Thomas turned on his heel and strode out of the room, not even bothering to change out his blood spattered lab coat or wash his hands. The looks he got in the hallway didn't phase him as he stopped by his office to write a quick note for Amelia.
Dr. Thomas grinned contently as he strode through the hospital, his destination: the psych ward where Amelia worked. She was going to love this, it was the perfect valentines present.
Dear Valentine,
As a display of my devotion to you, I first thought to give you my heart. But I have something even better: the hand of the lecherous imbecile who had the nerve to grab your posterior at last week's surgeon's convention.
All my love
-Thomas
**I know Valentines Day has passed but since it is still February and it when with the picture I went with it anyways. I hoped you liked this week's piece even though it was morbidly funny. And to figure out what Thomas said to Mr. Goodhall, use Google translate.
Sincerely,
Lyra **
